Unexpected Emotions
by Akugi
Summary: When Inu-Yasha goes to far and strikes Kagome she turns to another and finds a love that will change her path forever. KagMir with embittered Inu-Yasha scenes to follow.
1. Unexpected Emotion

Unexpected Emotions  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own Inu-Yasha, if I did I could afford a car.  
  
Eh... this is one of the first times I've done something like this, putting my writing stuff in a place where other people I don't know will see it.. *blinks* When you read this please put into consideration that my friend, who was supposed to review and edit it for me, ran off last night to a party and came home in no condition to read anything let alone manage unlocking our front door.   
  
Chapter One - Unexpected Emotion  
  
  
Miroku had been the one to find her.   
  
He remembered that sickening moment with clarity, running into the woods after hearing her terrified screams, finding her crumpled form lying by the well that led back to her time.   
  
He had been the second one to see Kagome's face. The first one to see the jagged claw marks along her left cheek had already vanished into the woods.  
  
The hanyou had gone too far this time.  
  
Miroku carried the unconscious girl back to Kaede, worry turning his normally cheerful features solemn. The miko had worked for weeks, using her knowledge of herb lore and healing magic to repair the damage to Kagome's face, yet the group knew the emotional wounds would take longer in healing.   
  
The hanyou appeared once, shame etched in his every movement, guilt darkening normally bright amber eyes. Miroku threw him out without a second thought. Rather then the normal display of temper Inu-Yasha slunk back into the forest, hiding from everyone.  
  
Miroku managed to keep his temper under control, long enough to keep Sango from leaping onto Kirara's back to hunt down the hanyou. He knew Kagome wouldn't want them to kill her attacker. No matter how he hurt her.   
  
Kaede forced herbal teas on Kagome, keeping her asleep for weeks as her wounds began healing. Sango kept guard by the door, her fingers idly stroking the small cat demon in her lap. Shippo wailed long into the night before collapsing into a deep slumber, murmuring Kagome's name even in his sleep.   
  
Miroku and Kaede remained by the young girl's side through the weeks that passed, for the physical wounds were well on their way. The emotional wounds were still fresh and bleeding, causing nightmares that awoke Kagome in screams.   
  
Nightmares that had yet to stop.  
  
It had been months since that day, months that left Kagome's face fully healed with only four white lines marring the skin of her cheek. Four white lines that were etched into her very soul. Months of her waking in screams, months of Miroku stroking her hair long into the night with her head pillowed in his lap, months of Inu-Yasha shadowing their every step.  
  
The hanyou never gave up. After Kagome first awoke he made an appearance, apologizing over and over as he cradled one of Kagome's hands between his own. The cold silence that followed his tearful words told the hanyou that everything had changed. Kagome looked at him once, her tone was clipped as she accepted his apology, as she forgave him for striking her.   
  
After Inu-Yasha left for the forest again Kagome withdrew from them all. Her once cheerful and laughing face had transformed into a mask-like emotionlessness.   
  
Miroku watched this all, never leaving her side as her wounds closed and faded, as she withdrew further and further into herself. He stayed by her side at nights, waiting for the nightmares to begin, as they always did. He soothed her back into sleep when she jerked awake, a scream strangled in her throat.   
  
Miroku even kept Sango from trying to hunt down Inu-Yasha repeatedly. Although the temptation to let the demon hunter teach the hanyou a lesson was highly tempting at times, especially when he caught Kagome caressing the new scars on her face with unconscious revulsion.   
  
Even now, as they continued their quest for the shards, the hanyou tailed them. Every now and then he would appear in their camp, telling them of some rumor on the Shikon shards before vanishing into the darkness. His eyes would always avoid looking at Kagome's face, Miroku knew the hanyou could hear the coldness in his tone when they talked. A coldness that appeared after their private confrontation over Kagome's wounds.   
  
Yet time continued to pass, months blended into one another as their travels took them to many lands. Kagome's stout refusal to return to her time until the jewel was complete worried the group, yet they understood that it would worry Kagome's family more if she appeared injured while having to return to the quest. So they stayed quiet, supporting Kagome without words.   
  
It was around this time that Miroku discovered his feelings for Kagome. The latest news from the hanyou sent them far into the western lands, the jewel was nearing completion and Sango's urge to hunt for Naraku and save her brother wiped away all other thoughts and emotions. Electing to camp in the woods rather then risk the stares Kagome's scars received in a village the group settled for the night near some hot springs.   
  
After the fire was built and a pot of some animal Sango killed was cooking, Kagome told them she was going to take a bath and vanished into the deepening gloom. Miroku leaned against a tree, his staff across his lap as he gazed blankly into the dancing flames before him. Sango's voice shook the hazy thoughts from his mind.  
  
her voice was clear in the evening air.  
Yes Sango?  
Go to her.   
  
Miroku blinked and looked at the young woman sitting across the fire. This was quite possibly the last thing he ever expected Sango of all people to say to him, let alone right now.   
  
he began, unable to say much else.  
  
I see how you look at Kagome, her voice was no steadier, but she continued on despite the blush dancing across her cheeks. I believe that the only thing left for Kagome to heal is her belief that everyone looks on her as marred.  
  
The two companions stared blindly into the fire before meeting each other's eyes, Sango smiled gently and shook her head sadly.  
  
It makes more sense when I think of you two together anyway. Kagome needs someone now, someone who cares about her as she is, not as a reincarnation of a former love or a shard detector. the bitter tone in her voice betrayed just how deep her anger towards the hanyou went.   
  
Miroku sighed and rose to his feet, the rings on his staff making comforting chiming noises with each movement. His gaze was warm as he smiled at Sango, bowing down to place his hand on her shoulder for a moment before vanishing into the woods in search of Kagome.  
  
Sango watched him go, her fingers tracing patterns in Kirara's fur, a smile lurking on her lips. Her words as he left lingered in the air between them.  
  
Besides, I've seen how Kagome looks at you...   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tell me what you think.... I appreciate all reviews, advice, and will cry at any flames.  
  
  



	2. Memory of Emotion

Disclaimer - I don't own Inu-Yasha and co.  
  
Chapter 2 - Memory of Emotion  
  
Steam rose from the hot springs below her feet as moonbeams pierced the roiling clouds. The beauty of the night was a salve to her spirit, a serene moment in her usually hectic life. Moments of peace were rare to her now, rare since her once trusted friend scarred her for life physically and emotionally.   
  
Trust was a difficult thing to lose.   
  
Friendship and love were even harder.  
  
Kagome's feet swirled delicate ripples in the hot water, although she preferred her own world for bathing comforts she often took advantage of the springs that were scattered across this era. Yet even the simple pleasures of the feudal era paled in comparison to the pain and suffering of this time.  
  
Pain and suffering she currently held deep within.  
  
Her towel and soaps scattered the earth by her side, forgotten in her moment of reflection. After slipping into the shadows of the night Kagome began to truly relax. Relaxation was also rare to her now. She hated going into villages, people who once greeted her warmly without reservation now paused to stare blankly at the marks on her face, scars that changed the way everyone saw her.  
  
She hated the way children pointed at her.  
  
She hated how the adults would stare at her before whispering to one another behind their hands.   
  
She hated feeling like marked property, like Inu-Yasha had managed to make her his for all to see. She hated feeling like damaged goods whenever she caught a glimpse of her reflection.   
  
Kagome hated this person she became, the withdrawn cold personality that rarely smiled. She hated the look of worry that passed between Sango and Miroku when they caught her gazing at her reflection with unmasked revulsion. She hated feeling so distant all the time, yet knowing the hurt was waiting to surface again.  
  
The feelings of betrayal and loss that haunted her steps each day.  
  
_'Kikyo... wouldn't abandon her responsibilities....'  
  
_It never mattered to the hanyou that Kagome was losing her identity. It never occurred to him that every time he compared them she lost a little more of herself. He never noticed the flash of pain in her eyes when he left the group to meet his lover, he only saw what he wanted to.  
  
Inu-Yasha....  
  
Kagome smiled grimly as her memories of her hanyou friend swallowed her for a few breathless moments. The fierce love she once felt for her hanyou comrade had been replaced with a cool detachment. A refusal to admit to any emotions towards the one who hurt her so deeply with so little awareness.   
  
Her fingers idly traced the jagged outlines of her scars as her mind wandered down the familiar path of memory. The memory she held of their last fight.   
  
The moment he lost control and struck her.  
  
The emotions were so confusing, she remembered feeling silly yelling at her hanyou friend with one leg slung over the edge of the well, she remembered the dull anger that was slowly rising in her chest as Inu-Yasha persisted with his badgering, she remembered the deep exhaustion that dragged her feet with each step she took.   
  
The weeks before their argument were difficult, Kagome wanted nothing more then to go home to see her family, take a real bath, and eat oden. A lot of oden. She wanted to spend a day or two being normal again, being in her time and her world. She wanted to talk to her mother about the hanyou.  
  
The moment everything changed between the hanyou and the young girl from the future would forever be in her memories. Every motion playing in her mind with crystal clarity.   
  
The cool night air flowing past her face, how the fireflies delicately wove through the trees that surrounded the well's clearing, the suddenly lost expression in the hanyou's eyes as he gazed into her uplifted face.  
  
Kikyo would never abandon her responsibilities.  
  
The silence stretched between them was filled with nothingness, the tingling promise of something more that once hung between them scattered to the evening breeze without a backward glance. At least a year of traveling as companions and friends, at least a year of tense emotional waves that left her exhilarated and heart broken in turns. At least a year of loving a hanyou who saw a reflection of the past in her eyes.  
  
The comparison didn't surprise her, the hanyou couldn't help himself when it came to her and Kikyo. He couldn't stop seeing Kikyo in her face, he couldn't fully embrace Kagome for herself.   
  
His expression brought the faint exhilaration of surprise, the sudden certainty that shone in his amber depths, the freedom in his posture as he locked gazes with her.   
  
Inu-Yasha had made his decision in that moment.  
  
Gone were the uncertainties that hung between the two. Gone was the strange melding of love and jealousy that stained their relationship. Gone was the hope that Kagome had always clung to when it came to Inu-Yasha, hope that he would release the past and embrace a future with her.  
  
Yet in that strange moment of silence he chose Kikyo, the woman he lost his heart to fifty years ago.   
  
It hurt. The pain surprised Kagome, she had fooled herself into believing she knew the fullest depths of pain from her tumultuous relationship with the hanyou, she had fooled herself into believing he would turn to her in the end with love in his eyes. Yet here they were, the Lady Kagome and Lord Inu-Yasha, staring at one another as the last vestiges of their argument and relationship faded into the dust at their feet.  
  
Regret is difficult to embrace without pain. Something deep within her knew the day Kikyo was resurrected. The day Inu-Yasha revealed his true feelings for the dead miko who denied him the Shikon Jewel.  
  
_Does it bother you so much that I look like Kikyo? Do you hate me for it?  
  
_The look in his eyes when the question slipped from her lips stunned her, the depth of feeling in the usually insensitive hanyou's eyes revealed emotions other then hate and betrayal. He loved her. With the innocence of any boy's first love the hanyou held a deep love for Kikyo.   
  
A love that death and reincarnation clearly couldn't alter.  
  
The depths of Kagome's heart stung, as if the hanyou had taken his prized sword and plunged it into her depths without remorse. It hurt enough for the fiery tempered girl to lash out at her friend.  
  
At least you didn't wait too long to choose between Kikyo and I. It would have been rather difficult to pick after she dies again.  
  
She had hurt him, the stiffening of his posture and low growl in his throat spoke volumes to her. He didn't like being reminded of Kikyo's need for souls, he disliked remembering the stench of death and the grave that hung around the miko. Turning from his pain Kagome stared at her hands, tears threatening to fall as bitterness rose in her throat.  
  
Although it could be worse, I could reclaim my soul from her and make the choice point-  
  
She was cut off as a flash of red obscured her vision, clawed fingers dug into her cheek as the hanyou's hand roughly slammed over her lips. Her startled gaze flew to his eyes, the hanyou had never been physically rough with her on purpose.  
  
Revelation dawned, her eyes widened as she realized why he was so abruptly rough with her. Kagome could destroy Kikyo. She had the power to withdraw the fragment of soul Kikyo clung to, she had the power to reclaim what was hers by right of reincarnation.   
  
She had the power to destroy Inu-Yasha's love.  
  
She knew he could see the satisfaction in her expression, she could feel her lips curve in the beginnings of a smirk as her fingers locked around his wrist, pulling his hand from her face with little effort. She wanted to hurt him, she wanted to take the year they had been together and change her decisions to remain by his side, she wanted to have never met Inu-Yasha at all.   
  
First she wanted to hurt him.  
  
Revenge was unfamiliar to her, the dark feelings swirling in her abdomen left an unpleasant taste in her mouth as she stood to face him. She could easily picture how they looked together, slender girl and young hanyou gazing at each other in a moonlit clearing. Two friends who felt betrayed by one another with the simplistic cruelty of words, two friends who felt the chasm growing between them with each heartbeat.  
  
The rage and pain were familiar, common to Kagome after being with the hanyou for as long as she has the pain had become a companion of sorts. Yet she had never been one to be physical, even the beads around Inu-Yasha's neck were rarely activated outside of a heated argument between the two, she never sought to hurt those she cared for or could forgive, she never struck others unless in battle.   
  
Yet Kagome struck him.  
  
A satisfying slap that held a year's worth of bitterness and pain, of chances lost and love unfulfilled. Every tear she cried for him, every moment he silently compared her to another, every minute spent under Kikyo's shadow. Everything was placed into that one single blow she dealt against the hanyou.  
  
The satisfaction that followed the blow was frightening.  
  
His response shook her to her core.   
  
Months later, as she sits by a hot spring and recalls memories of their time together, she knows he responded only out of instinct. The youkai within him rose as the echo of her slap faded into the trees, the youkai responded swiftly.  
  
Red hued eyes bore into hers as his clawed fingers flashed towards her face. A hand she held with such joy crossed her vision, leaving streaks of red and yellow as pain exploded across her face. There was a stunned moment as she stood there, numbness expanding across her face as a strange wet warmth spread down her chest.   
  
She felt her hand tremble as she touched her cheek hesitantly, pulling it away to reveal blood soaked fingers. She heard him leave the clearing abruptly, leaving her behind as if she was nothing to him, staring into the stars above the pain rushed in. Even as Kagome choked on a scream blessed darkness rushed in and carried her away, shrouding her from the crumpled form in a clearing that held such meaning to her once.  
  
Later she heard the whole story, she learned how Miroku had been the one to find her, he carried her to Kaede where she was tended for weeks. Waking to the worried expressions of her friends was a gentle salve to her wounded spirit. They cared for her, deeply.  
  
Weeks of bandages being wrapped around her head as she lay on the thin pallet in Kaede's hut, weeks of Sango's steely silence as the beautiful demon hunter gazed balefully into the woods beyond the village, weeks of Shippo's uncertainty as he tried to figure out how to treat her. Weeks of Miroku's tender care as he gently watched over her.  
  
In the weeks that passed Kagome learned about different types of healing.   
  
Kaede was blunt, selecting a time when the others were out of the hut she turned to the wounded girl and stared directly into haunted eyes.   
  
All the physical healing in the world can't help you now. the old healer began, her practiced hands gently replacing the poultice on Kagome's cheek. The rest is up to you to fix. at Kagome' s hesitant nod the old miko allowed her hand to gently brush unruly ebony bangs from the young girl's face, the scars ran deep into Kagome's heart. A wound that only the wounded could fix.  
  
Later, when the bandages were removed, Kagome could finally travel. She chose to remain in the feudal era, refusing to return home without the quest for the jewel finished. She refused to make her family worry any more then they already did.   
  
Weeks melded into months. The group smaller by one, the hanyou shadowed them now, she could sense him when he was near.   
  
As she lay in Kaede's hut he came to her once, apologizing as he held her hand between his, his eyes dark with remorse. Gazing into the face she once thought she loved more then anything Kagome could only dredge up a faint pity, the previous emotions of tumultuous love and friendship had vanished as her wounds healed.   
  
Even if he started everything, she had chosen the ending.   
  
It was bitter, knowing the wounds were more her fault then his. She chose to slap him, never thinking he would strike back. The thought of Inu-Yasha striking her had been foreign.   
  
Yet she had a task to finish, a jewel to reassemble. Sango and Miroku were considerate, realizing her distaste for villages they chose to camp out as often as possible, taking the young Shippo away when his innocent questions brought tears to Kagome's eyes. The group was silent, yet a strange bond grew between them. A friendship that seemed to transcend the simple camaraderie that held them together before.  
  
As months fell behind them she knew her face had healed as much as possible, leaving behind Inu-Yasha's mark for all time. Kagome spent more time in silence now, withdrawing from even those who cared for her, unable to explain the strange fears that still churned in her stomach.  
  
The first night she awoke from a nightmare in Miroku's arms she felt strangely grateful that someone still wanted her. An emotion that was swiftly quelled as her questing gaze met his calmly friendly one. The stab of disappointment she felt when she realized he wasn't even groping her like he once did brought surprise and despair. Despair that no man would look at her the same.  
  
Yet night after night as the nightmares intensity rose and fell she awoke in the monk's arms. Always he soothed her into rest with the rhythmic stroking of her hair, his voice low as he murmured to her gently. Kagome caught herself watching him when he wasn't looking, confusion muddling her thoughts as he treated her without the usual lecherous attitude.  
  
She saw him talking with Inu-Yasha once, the suppressed rage in the cheerful monk's body frightened her. She only knew the happy lecherous Miroku, the man who propositioned women without a second thought, the man who considered groping a normal sign of affection. She had rarely seen the more serious side to the sinful monk, the side she was witnessing as he confronted the hanyou.  
  
He never said anything to her, the monk returned to camp that night and smiled as always, his eyes betraying nothing as he tended to the fire in silence.   
  
Yet she knew. Kagome knew Miroku confronted Inu-Yasha about the marks on her face. Yet he said nothing and in the weeks that followed he remained the carefree Miroku she had always known.  
  
Sango approached her in a hot spring, the demon hunter's face was grave as she slowly immersed herself into the hot water at Kagome's side. The night was silent as the two girls gazed into the steam that rose around them, an awkward silence rising for the first time in their long friendship.   
  
the demon hunter started, her usually expressive face was unreadable as she faced her young friend. I see how you look at Houshi-  
  
The splash of water as Kagome spun towards her interrupted the girl's words, a stunned Sango could barely understand the river of words that fountain from Kagome's swiftly moving lips. As the unintelligible syllables rushed past Sango started giggling as she realized why Kagome was so horrorstruck.  
  
Kagome-chan, Miroku and I share no future. she stated firmly, taking her friend by surprise. Taking Kagome's hand in hers Sango stared into her friend's eyes, allowing the sincerity of her words show in her expression, He will always be my dear friend, always. But I will never need him the way you need him, the way he deserves.   
  
Smiling warmly Sango stretched languorously, feeling the warm water soothe the scar that marked her otherwise flawless skin. She heard Kagome's departure as she lightly dozed, smiling at the thoughtful expression her friend wore as she vanished into woods.  
  
Sango's words had been kind, yet Kagome held no hope.   
  
Hope had been the first thing she lost as her wounds healed, no matter what time she lived in men selected women based on looks first. A simple truth that held despite a 500 year difference between her time and the feudal era. A truth that glared before her every time the group came across another person, the searching eyes took in her gray eyes, dark hair, fair skin and slender form. The look of appreciation always changed when they graced her cheek, taking in the scars the inevitable moments of staring would come, moments that led to her becoming suddenly invisible.  
  
Kagome knew Miroku didn't want her. She would have noticed if he did, wouldn't she?  
  
Shivering in the night air Kagome's repose was interrupted by a familiar chiming coming in her direction. Dashing familiar tears from her eyes she turned as he emerged from the bushes behind her, a familiar smile spreading across his face as his eyes met hers.  
  
A year's worth of travel left her unable to see anyone beyond the hanyou, yet in a few months she realized she was feeling familiar emotions for the steady and patient monk who cared for her so gently. Emotions that left Kagome hollow with the bittersweet knowledge that no man would want a flawed woman. Even Miroku had changed his attitude around her after she was injured.  
  
Yet she couldn't stop the sudden acceleration of her heart as she took in his handsome features.   
  
As he settled by her side, crossing his legs with his staff at the ground between them, a companionable silence fell. The monk's presence calmed the depression and fears that often rose in Kagome's mind, just walking by his side comforted her. Kagome wanted more.  
  
She found herself watching his lips when he spoke, finding more then comfort when he embraced her after her nightmares. Kagome found herself waking in the morning from fantasies of being held in Miroku's arms as he kissed her into lazy passion. Even his voice brought a strange shiver to her spirit, filling her with longings she held firmly in rein.  
  
Closing her eyes she began summoning her courage, preparing to give voice to her feelings and damn the consequences. Kagome wanted to take this chance, ever since Sango spoke to her she felt the small spark of hope re-light itself in her heart, stubbornly refusing to die despite her best efforts. Taking in a deep breath she opened her mouth to blurt her confession in full length only to feel her words choke in her throat.  
  
Miroku's fingers were gentle as they traced the outline of each scar, meeting Kagome's eyes calmly he cupped her cheek with his uncursed hand, reveling in the feeling of her soft flesh against his palm.  
  
He could easily read the emotions flowing in her eyes, the usually cold gray gaze of his once warm friend was filled with a familiar light. A light that died when she awoke on the pallet in Kaede's hut.   
  
Kagome-sama's beauty has never dimmed in my eyes.   
  
His words filled her ears as his hand slid behind her neck, pulling her towards him with ease. Burying her face into the crook of his neck she breathed in his scent, the mixture of incense and herbs that permeated the robe he wore, a sharp crisp scent she had grown to love when he held her at night. When he pulled away briefly Kagome almost protested, fear rising that he was only being her friend, her companion.  
  
Fears that were banished as his warm lips descended to hers.  
  
The first kiss was gentle, almost chaste. His thumb caressed her jaw line as he pulled away to see her eyes, the warmth in her gaze was what the monk had missed the most in these long months, a warmth that had once filled the entire group.   
  
Cupping her face between his palms he treasured her expressions, taking quiet delight in the simple happiness her face wore. It had been months since he had seen her smile so freely, months of her false smiles that never reached her eyes.   
  
Miroku felt her fingers twine around the back of his neck, a gesture that beckoned him closer. A smile tugged the corners of his lips as he leaned forward to kiss her again, he was slower this time, he wanted to savor the moment to its fullest.  
  
Kagome shivered as she pulled herself closer to Miroku, the warmth of his body surrounded her in a comforting aura, when he bent down for a second kiss she felt a thrill of anticipation. The emotion was not wasted. He wasn't just kissing her, he was making love to her mouth. He was slow yet thorough as he nibbled on her lower lip before completely covering her mouth with his own, when she opened her lips invitingly he accepted, teasing her tongue with his own as his sealed hand moved down the curve of her spine.  
  
It wasn't fierce, kissing the hanyou had been fierce yet passionate. Miroku was gentle sensuality, passionate with patience. When he teased her tongue with his own before gently licking her upper lip Kagome couldn't hide the shivers of delight and pleasure that raced through her.   
  
The moment that followed was strangely peaceful, as his lips left hers and the world reasserted itself Kagome realized she had moved into the monk's lap, his arms were wrapped tightly around her while his cheek rested against her hair.   
  
I should thank Sango-chan when we return. his tone was amused as his arms tightened around Kagome. She could feel his voice thrum from his chest when he spoke, it strangely comforted her as she snuggled deeper into his embrace, mentally promising to thank her friend as well.  
  
His sigh as he buried his face into her hair was content, toying with the ebony tresses the monk felt a deep contentment as he felt KAgome's arms slip around his chest to embrace him.   
  
he began, hearing a faint mumble he took to be an acknowledgment he continued calmly.   
  
Please bear my child.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I don't think it's as good as the last one but I find it reasonably acceptable.   
  
I would like to thank the following people for taking the time out to not only read my bizarre ideas of romance and story lines, but to actually review!!!   
  
*Loves the following people for being nice and reading her story*  
  
Katzztar - I always thought it was kinda funny just **how** forgiving Kagome was. I wanted her to be a little more human with human emotions beyond jealousy and blind forgiveness. I'll probably toss in a chapter from Inu-Yasha's pov at some point because I do kinda dislike making him a mute villain of sorts.  
  
Storm-Maker - *Sweatdrops* I like Inu-Yasha and Kagome pairings as well, I started another fic that'll be along those lines, but I've always considered Miroku a hottie (it's the ponytail *weeps*) and wondered what would happen if he picked up Kagome whenever Inu-Yasha dropped her.  
  
Mitchie - Thank you for liking it!! *dances happily* I hope you like this chapter too! *prays*  
  
Small Fry - I hope this chapter was longer, I tend to write in the wee hours of the morning so I have oddly fluctuating chapter lengths depending on how tired I am. I'm glad you liked it and thank you for the compliment. *nominates you as a God*  
  
AnimeChika8456 - *dances* people are so nice to me! I really appreciate you and others taking the time to review!  
  
Red - I'm sorry I'm hopeless with updating, I'm a girl living with two male roommates who are otherwise eating, sleeping, playing video games, playing online games, or on the phone trying to score a date. Getting them to read and edit my stuff is like pulling teeth, I bribe them with cookies and have to deal with girl and anime jokes for weeks afterwards.... But I'm thrilled you loved the first chapter!!! Tell me what you think on the second!!!  
  
*dances* people were soooo nice to me!! Honestly I think I could've done a little better on this chapter but I am satisfied with it. I tried to make it longer because I got a few e-mail asking why it was so short *Sweatdrops* But writer's block reared it's ugly head and I had to listen to sad music for the past week to get in a good and depressive mood to write. But I hope you guys like it!!! Please Review again!  
  
~Akugi~


	3. InuYasha

Disclaimer - I don't own Inu-Yasha and company.  
  
**Author's Note -   
** I kinda wanted to show Inu-Yasha's side of things without making him a blank villain, the one you sorta just make bad without giving him redeeming features. Oh well, tell me what you guys think.  
  
  
  
Chapter Three - Inu-Yasha  
  
~*~*Inu-Yasha's p.o.v.*~*~  
  
Even youkai have difficulties with love.  
  
I was still young when I met Kikyo, still a pup in many ways I traveled the world in a search for my strength. My father and mother were dead, my elder brother despised me, and I was left alone to confront the world.  
  
Being a hanyou wasn't easy, when my parents were alive they gave me a feeling of security, of belonging. They accepted me without question, a feeling I lost the moment they died. At first it was difficult, traveling through a world that despised you for simply living. A world that held little love for the children of a youkai and human romance.  
  
When I found the rumor of the Shikon no Tama I leapt at the chance, when I grasped my hands around the jewel of Shikon I could wish to be a full youkai. I could erase the humanity in my blood in moments, as if it had never been.  
  
What I found was Kikyo.  
  
The guardian of the jewel, a beautiful young miko who denied me the Shikon no Tama. As time passed my attempts against the jewel became nothing more then a strange game of wits, a game the miko played willingly. Her arrows were swift, I found myself detaching the fletched missiles from my clothing more then once, while pinned to the side of a tree.   
  
Yet neither of us struck the final blow.  
  
A strange intricate bond formed between us, I, a hanyou, was slowly falling in love with a miko, the one being who could truly destroy me. The longer I stayed the closer we became, gradually crossing the barrier of friendship and moving in the unknown realms of love.  
  
I loved a miko, the very protector to the jewel I wanted, I wanted to take her in my arms and make the haunted loneliness in her eyes vanish like the morning mist. I wanted to hold her until the strange wall she built around herself melted into dust at our feet.  
  
I wanted to see her truly smile.  
  
Yet in the end we betrayed ourselves, although our love filled the voids of loneliness we both held Kikyo and I had, we still didn't fully trust one another. An opportunity Naraku was only too happy to exploit.  
  
He turned us against one another, causing the relationship I had with Kikyo to sour into bitter hatred within a day. She killed me, using her arrow to pin me to the tree for fifty years. She struck the final blow.  
  
Yet I loved her still.  
  
When I awoke to see Kagome's face I mistook her for Kikyo, a mistake I was swiftly notified of as the fiery young girl snapped at me, fire shooting from her eyes. It was strange, seeing an echo of Kikyo's face with emotions she never once outwardly showed. It was strange traveling with a girl who brought only memories of another every time I looked into her eyes.  
  
  
Yet I remained with Kagome, even after Kikyo's strange resurrection.   
  
Seeing Kikyo again brought so many memories to the surface, memories of her face glowing in the sunset as I held her, memories of the sad yet gentle smile she always wore. Memories of her enraged expression as she released her final arrow.   
  
I knew Kagome had feelings for me, feelings I would have easily returned if I had never met Kikyo. I held Kagome close to me, always with me, so I could remember a time with another. I will never know if things would have been different if Kikyo had never returned in her body of clay and bone, I'll never know if I could have fallen in love with the reincarnation of Kikyo.   
  
I'll never know because Kikyo did return.  
  
As I traveled with Kagome and the others I could always smell Kikyo in the distance, a bittersweet scent that seemed to linger around me always. I would often find myself in the middle of kissing Kagome, only to see Kikyo's face as I pulled away. Every moment of my life was in Kikyo's debt, every breath I took was against Kikyo's wishes.  
  
Yet there was Kagome.  
  
She was a strange girl, she calmly accepted my feelings for Kikyo, simply asking if she could continue to stay by my side. An arrangement I didn't mind because it made me feel strangely comfortable. I could have had feelings for Kagome, at one time I would have willingly embraced a future with Kagome, a family with her perhaps.   
  
I could have put my past behind my and allowed my memories to return to their proper place.  
  
I chose Kikyo.  
  
In the end it was Kikyo I loved, it was Kikyo I was better suited for. Kikyo held a life and responsibilities in this time, with me. She was born in this era, she died in this era. When I was with Kikyo I never feared her departure to an unknown place or time, I never feared she would vanish the moment our quest was finished.  
  
During that strange last fight with Kagome I realized my confusion towards the two women had vanished. When I compared Kagome to Kikyo I saw the turbulent emotions in her eyes, emotions she usually kept hidden from me.   
  
I wanted to sit down and speak rationally to KAgome, I wanted to explain my reasons, I wanted her to understand and forgive.   
  
In the end none of those ideas happened. She reacted badly to the comparison, her voice was cracking with pain as she boldly threatened Kikyo's existence. The reminder that Kagome was the reincarnation of my love was not a welcome one, I despised being reminded of Kikyo's death, I despised remembering how the woman I loved walked the earth in a false body made of earth and bone.   
  
I wanted the bitterness pouring from Kagome's mouth to stop, I wanted to see the smiling laughing girl who walked by my side for the past year. I wanted things to be the way they were, only as friends. This argument had been so strange, I wasn't even sure why I began it in the first place, I knew how tired Kagome had been and how badly she had wanted to go home.  
  
I hated it when she left to go home. I hated the strange feeling of loneliness that followed her absence, I hated feeling like second choice to another world.   
  
I wanted her to stay with me.  
  
Yet Kagome always left, usually sitting me a few times as she leapt into the well that led back to her time. I wanted to only speak with her, ask her to stay for a little while longer, yet I ended up hurting and angering Kagome.   
  
Thus we reached our impasse, Kagome and I.  
  
That strange silent moment with my hand clamped over her mouth, feeling her angered huffs against my palm as our eyes met in a strange mutual understanding. Everything had changed between us, I picked Kikyo in the end which left me nothing of Kagome. Not even her friendship.  
  
Grief clouded my vision, I genuinely wanted Kagome by my side always, just not as a lover. I would have always worried if I was holding her back, if I was keeping her away from a place she belonged. As her friend I wouldn't have any of those fears, we could have just visited one another without any sacrifices being made.   
  
In the end I knew just how badly Kagome had loved me.   
  
When she jerked away from my grasp and spun towards me I was slow to react, unsure of her sudden movements. When her palm connected with my cheek I buckled a little, thrown off balance by the strength her blow had. The anger in her scent was unmistakable, she had hit me on purpose.  
  
The youkai in me responded. My human blood retreated as I felt my youkai half take over, clouding my vision with a red haze. My claws flexed, as my mind slowly began shrugging of the strange blood haze I watched my hand almost casually flick towards Kagome's face, striking her with full strength. As her head snapped to the side I smelled the coppery tang of blood in the air, Kagome's blood. It dripped down the side of her face and soaked the front of her strange clothes, concealing the marks of my claws.  
  
As her eyes fogged over with shock I leapt away, the image of her bloody face haunting my vision as I ran through the forest.   
  
I took no notice of the night's beauty, I cared not for the slowly dancing fireflies that swirled around my swift departure, I cared nothing for the moonlight dappling my skin through the tree leaves. I wanted to get away, far away. Yet even as the distance between Kagome and I grew I heard her screams, they echoed through the forest, chasing my steps far into the night.  
  
I spent days hiding in the woods, refusing to go near the village, to go see Kagome. I knew someone had found her by now, and had probably taken her to Kaede's hut for care. Yet the courage I needed to see Kagome was lacking in my heart, I truly didn't want to acknowledge the damage I did to her heart and face.  
  
Damage I would never be able to forgive myself for.  
  
This was how Kikyo found me.  
  
Crumpled on the forest floor, tears leaking from my eyes as I rocked to and fro, trying to comfort myself. The miko knelt and took me in her arms, her expressive eyes filled with compassion as she allowed me to cry into the base of her neck, soaking her garb with my tears. The days passed thus, I laid in Kikyo's embrace for as long as I could, shamelessly using her as a shelter against the world.   
  
Kikyo said few words, she simply held me for as long as I needed. When the story of my fight with Kagome tumbled from my lips, punctuated by anguished sobs, she said nothing still. I felt her arms tighten around me as her cheek brushed the top of my head, her presence soothed me into a deep sleep without dreams.  
  
A sleep I woke from fully refreshed, still in her arms.  
  
I hesitantly stirred, gazing into her dark eyes for countless moments, feeling the rightness of being with Kikyo again.   
  
If your tale is correct you seem to have made a choice between my reincarnation and I. her tone was serene, her eyes betrayed nothing as her fingers lightly played with my bangs. There was no change in her scent, no betraying heart beat, it was as if she cared little for my choice. Yet somewhere deep within my heart I knew Kikyo cared more then she let on.  
  
I did... I began slowly, admiring how the breeze played with her hair, causing it to tumble over her shoulder and tickle my nose. Her face was bent over mine, the branches of the tree we were leaning against spread across my vision, crowning her in my eyes.   
  
I picked you, Kikyo. My clawed fingers traced the outline of her face, a face I've seen with so many emotions. The shadows of lonely sadness hovered in her eyes still, yet the strange light that grew as she realized my words banished the gloom in her demeanor.  
  
As she embraced me tightly in the shadows of the forest I knew the choice I had made was correct. I was a creature of the past, a demon that lived 500 years in Kagome's history. I belonged with someone who shared this time and this life.  
  
I knew with time Kagome would understand.  
  
As Kikyo waited in the woods I entered Kaede's hut for the second time, when I tried before I was thrown out quite bodily by an enraged Miroku. I had never seen the monk's face so angry, a rarity that caused me to swiftly depart for a more opportune time. When I heard Kagome's weakened voice in the wind I tried again, gaining entrance despite the stony glares from the humans I still considered friends.  
  
The poultices stank, strange herbs coated her scent as I kneeled by her pallet, unsure of what to say. I steadied my hands as I held one of hers, allowing the genuine self-loathing I felt to leak into my apology. I don't know for how long I apologized, I just let the words flow from my mouth until Kagome interrupted me. Her tone was cold, she accepted my apology and granted me forgiveness with that strange clipped voice.  
  
I knew they were just words. Nothing more. But it was all I could ask for, departing I simply leapt into the woods, a strange emptiness in my chest as I left behind the human village.  
  
Kikyo and I tailed the group, gathering our own shards when possible. I would slip over to Kagome's camp to tell them a rumor of the Shikon shards, from the chilly stares and cold voices I knew Sango and Miroku had not forgiven me in the slightest. I made my visits brief, saying little and making my departure swift.  
  
During one such visit the monk confronted me. It was strange, facing off in such a way with a man I once considered a friend and traveling companion. Our words were few, his demands for explanations went unanswered as I demanded to know what gave him the right to know of my personal business. We departed in silence, the shattered remains of our friendship lying in the dust between us, a friendship I doubt I can ever reclaim again.  
  
Although I regret striking Kagome, I hold no regrets for my choice to be with Kikyo. Our travels together are filled with laughter and love, I hold her close at night, keeping the evening chill from her with my body's warmth. Her scent clings to my haori still, bringing a smile to my face whenever I sniff the air.   
  
She rides my back as I race across the land, crossing stretches of terrain in moments with my speed and leaps. The feel of her pressed against me as I leap into the wind brings a contentment I felt only when she was with me, a contentment I would never let go again.  
  
Kagome hunts the jewel for the sake of finishing her task, the shards Kagome had collected during our travels together hang around Kikyo's neck now, a sign of hope for the future. I still travel as near my former group as I dare, rarely seeing them but keeping them always within smelling distance.   
  
I know now that Kagome will always be my friend, even if she hates me now I will always protect and care for her. When the Shikon no Tama is completed and I hold it whole in my hand, I will wish for Kikyo to be returned to me alive, so that I can share my future with the one who understands me best.   
  
I just pray to the Gods that Kagome can find such happiness.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Usually when I write I get so caught up in the details of the surroundings I rarely get anything done with the characters. I guess I cut too many details out in the last chapter so I'll try to remember less isn't necessarily more in the future...   
Thank you for the review and suggestion **dragon/kaoru98446**.


End file.
